Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
