So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
