I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
