So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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