I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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