I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize