Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
