Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
