Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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