seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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