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So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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