i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
