She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
