I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
