There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
