I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so let's talk penis.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
