From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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