She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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