you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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