I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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