Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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