you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
