Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
