my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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