In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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