so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
