ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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