Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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