I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
