I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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