She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
