Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
