Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
