my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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