my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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