they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
