do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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