She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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