used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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