I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize