she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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