its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
