You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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