you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
