Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize