Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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