she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
