Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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