Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
