i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
