i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
