I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
