i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm going to jail i love you
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
