so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
