I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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