We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
