you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
