and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
