i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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