I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
